The Bus

I heard the term "The Bus" from a fellow blog writer  Kelle Hampton http://www.kellehampton.com/ . It is used to describe when you are having a bad day. When the emotions of having a child that has Down syndrome hits you like a ton of bricks. It does not come often but sometimes it comes. Never knowing when it is going to strike thankful for that is passes and does not come often.

I was just running and thinking, praying. The Bus started to hit me. I am not going to lie it hit me hard. As I was running with tears streaming down my face I was thinking about running and how much it hurts me that Jana is not walking much less running. Then I started thinking about the Day she was born. How that was such a dark day but I knew deep down there was light at the end of the Tunnel. I think about how far she has come how holding her head up, sitting up, crawling was such a big milestone and she did it. Just like I know deep down she will walk. In her time. Her time is not my time just like my time is not God's time. I thought that I had already learned lessons of patience in my life but sadly God is still trying to get that through my hard head. When am I am going to learn it is not about me??? As much as some days the days are long and I am working with Jana for hours trying to teach her how to walk I know she is the one that is actually teaching me.... She is teaching me Patience, perseverance, strength and will.

She will walk and I will look back on days like today and smile thinking how far we have come. Because after all we are in this journey together..Oh and when she does walk we are going to have a glorious party. A party fit for a Princess. With Cake and Ice cream, balloons and Princess Gear. It will be a Celebration for sure. AND I WILL give the Glory and Praise to God for it. I will kiss my little girls cheeks and cry harder than I ever have before and knowing Jana she will kiss me and say "OK Honey" because that is how my girl rolls. She is the most loving person I know. I am HONORED that I am her Momma. I can not wait to go on runs with my Baby Girl together.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.